The MCR(my) Cancer Project

3rd September 2011

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“The hardest part of this is leaving you.”

first off I guess I’ll say hi, my name’s Morgan, and here’s my cancer story. It probably won’t be typed too pretty, since I don’t really talk about this much

in 2006, after The Black Parade had came out and WTTBP was already being overplayed on the radio, I asked my mom to take me out so I could buy their CD. she did, making sure it was the edited version, since her being an avid christian and me being 12 years old, I wasn’t supposed to hear any of those words Gerard currently yells every night on stage. I popped the CD into the player in the car to listen to on the way home, and at first my mom didn’t like it. We only got through a couple songs before we got home, and I immediately ran up to my room to listen to the CD on repeat.

A couple days later, I showed her track 8. I showed her this song because at this point in my mother’s life, she had battled 2 years so far of stage IV breast cancer, been through chemotherapy, radiation, and of course the cancer had spread to other parts of her body. in 2004, they had told my mother “not to worry” about the lump in her breast, and by the time they figured out it was cancerous it was too late, and already started spreading to her stomach, eyes, and eventually her brain.

in 2007 she took me to my very first concert, which was the Projekt Revolution tour stop in Cuyahoga, Ohio. It was the most amazing night of my life. I was still young, but My Chemical Romance already meant so much to me. My mother and I had decided that “Cancer” was “our song,” and My Chem played it as their closer. The way Gerard belted out those words I knew all too well and having my mother at my side singing along with me is something I will always remember. We got to see My Chem again together, in 2008, and they closed with “Cancer” again.

I kept on loving MCR and kept on watching my mother be strong until 2009. In May of 2009, my mother lost her battle against the cancer in her body. My Chemical Romance was my outlet. I listened to that album so many times, I know it like the back of my hand. I was so depressed all the time, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I started cutting, and contemplating suicide, but MCR and the strength my mother had kept me here.

every time I hear “Cancer,” I think of my mother, and how her struggle must have been so hard. I honestly can’t even imagine what it was like. My Chemical Romance really did “save my life” and get me through the hardest thing I have ever faced.

Every single album and every single lyric they have ever written means so much to me, and it’s so wonderful to know that there are others who feel the exact same way. Thank you. xo

“And though you’re dead and gone, believe me, your memory will carry on.”

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31st August 2011

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My cancer story…

Well, uh…I’ve got 3 cancer stories, actually. 3 of my uncles died of cancer. The 1st one died when I was 4, so I got nothing much to talk about him. I didn’t even know him. The 2nd one died earlier this year, and I wasn’t very close to him ‘cause he lived kinda far. But I’ll talk about the recent uncle, the one who joined the Black Parade just last week.

Okay, so…Back in December last year, my dad told me (and I was 12) that another uncle of mine had got cancer. I felt like shit hearing that word. CANCER. Nothing but a stupid illness that kills everyone. So I just nodded and kept quiet.

My uncle’s been fighting cancer for 9 months, and we visited him olot of times. One thing here…You see, my uncle has this acoustic guitar. And every time we were about to knock on the door, we could hear strange twangs coming from inside and we would just laugh. His guitar was his best friend in times like this. He would just sing or play the pain out.

So, 9 months…there were some bumps along the way, some hopes that he would recover - sometimes he would just get his appetite back and start eating meals as big as horses - and disappointment that he wouldn’t make it - because he would lose his appetite later on.

But 9 months went by real fast, and then, when I came home from school the other day, my mom was at the door, and a few of my relatives were inside our house. They were all dressed in dull colors. I remember just staring at them confusedly and asking: “What’s up?”

“Your uncle just passed away.” My mom said. OH MY GOD. I couldn’t even say anything. I tried to cry, but no tears would come out. It was just so sudden. Only a week ago, I heard my aunt say that he had his appetite back again.

On the day of the funeral, I hardly cried. I know it makes me sound cold-hearted. But, you have to believe me, I’ve tried. But I just COULDN’T. And when sad songs played, I just had to close my eyes and replay Cancer in my head over and over again. When it was time to bury him, that’s when I muttered: “Your memory will carry on.” and my dad looked pretty confused  at me.

So, yeah…this is it. I strongly believe that if my uncle’s not in heaven, then he’s in the Black Parade. Because hell isn’t a place for the victims of cancer.

And here, I just wanna say something to those whose relatives/friends are going through the battle between life and death because of cancer, or those who have lost in it. You tell them that they have the MCRmy’s support. And if they don’t understand, just put it this way:

There’s over 7 million kids out there who are supporting you. Just keep fighting.

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Tagged: submissionmy chemical romancecancerthe cancer projectmcrmycancer project

31st August 2011

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uhm yeah so this is my cancer story~

when I was a little girl, i was crazily close to my granda. he called me his blue eyed girl, his ray of sunshine, his little lamb. he was the best thing in my life. when i was 5, i realised something was wrong with him. he was more tired, lost his breath easy, was sick a lot. because i was just a little kid, i didn’t really realise what it was. when i was 6, my dad sat me down and told me, my granda had cancer, and that it was an illness that made him very very sick, and it was terminal, meaning he was going to die. again, i was young, i didn’t really understand the full extent of the situation, but i got that he was sick. i tried to help him in anyway i could, me and my granny (who i also adore, js). i held his arm when he wanted to walk anywhere, got him flat coke which helped with the sickness, etc.. when he was in hospital and really sick, i visited him every single day. he was in a lot of pain, but he always had a massive smile when he saw me. he insisted on coming home, he hated being in hospitals. what i didn’t realise was that he wanted to die at home.

it was a tuesday 6th May 2003, 6 days after my 7th birthday; my dad picked me up from school, and my great-auntie hazel, and older brother and sister were in the car. i was confused, they both went to boarding school, the don’t come home until friday?

and then, dad told us. granda was dead. i didn’t cry. i didn’t speak, i could barely breathe. i was 7 but i still understood he was gone. i would never see him again.

when we got home i ran straight to my granny’s house. granda had already been dressed and was in the coffin in the spare bedroom. i insisted on seeing him, and i went in on my own, hugging the teddy bear he’d bought me. i cried and told him how much i loved him and he was the best granda ever. 

his funeral was two days later, and on the morning my granny was crying at his coffin. i went and got tissues and sat with her, holding her hand while she cried.

my biggest regret in life is, the day before he died, i was going home for the night, and granda asked for a kiss on the cheek. i told him to shut his eyes, and when he did i ran out the door. i was scared, i knew he was sick and i was scared. so i ran away. the next day he died, and i never gave him that kiss on the cheek. that’s my biggest regret in life.

im now 14, and i still cry every single year on the 6th may. i think about him every day, and his photograph stays by my bed, always. 

when i went to counselling for depression last year, my counsellor told me to get over it, it had been 7 years and it was time to stop crying over it.

people say time heals, but really it gets harder and harder every year. another year i don’t get to see him, hug him, laugh with him, another day he doesn’t get to see me grow up.

when he died he left a letter. the letter said “i got to see my little girl’s seventh birthday. i can die in peace now.” and yeah a few days later he died.

uhm yeah im crying now so i’m gonna go now, i just wanted to submit my cancer story and why i cried when i saw people were doing this.

much love <3

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Tagged: cancerthe cancer projectmy chemical romancecancercancer projectsubmission

31st August 2011

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Anybody up for sharing their stories?

You can put them in our submission box,  and if you would prefer to be credited as anonymous, just say so and we’ll post it without your name. 

The story doesn’t have to be about you. It can be about a friend, and family member, a teacher, your pet, anybody. Anything that relates to cancer in some way, shape, or form. We’d love to hear your stories!

~S

Tagged: cancercancer projectmy chemical romance